nightbird

Posted on | August 30, 2006 | Comments Off

late at nights..
lying on the floor,
watching the the blue smoke curl lazily towards the ceiling,
i again think of you..
and this time there is no alcohol to blunt the sharp edge of memory..
reflections are vivid,like photographs-
those scraps of frozen time that i once burnt-
and the heart communiates with itself…and talks to you..
for i dont need any images frozen on glossy paper..still..
i have you burnt on my frozen heart..
and the lazy smoke spirals some more..
telling me about that raw spot inside of me..
still hurting with a dull pain..
the blue smoke tells me that the wound is just covered by a scab,not healed-
that you are still there,lurking in the shadows-
unreal like the image of you i see on the ceiling,
and still real like my palpable pain..
why?

consciousness dives to the lows of memory to find solace,
in moments spent with you-
those happy utopian times-
and again i feel the caress of your voice on my cheek,
the scent of your hair in my nose,
i feel the music of your footsteps the flowers of your skin..
the golden love that you never had for me,
the pink hatred that killed me..
dead,my world is still colourful,for you were the palette..
and i daub my brush into it,and paint your portrait..
all mine..there you are..on the back of my retina..all mine..
to touch..to caress..to kiss..to ravish..to love..to destroy..
all mine..utopia..madness..something that never will be..
but i can never hate you-only love you.
and so i must destroy you..
without a trace!

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