probability of survival

Posted on | August 22, 2007 | Comments Off

i have a dream,
of life,
and not just survival,
beyond grovelling,pitiful existence,
i want to LIVE,
and not just have a living,
perhaps,someday,my dream will come true,
and so i fight,
everyday,every moment,
struggling against time,
each failure,not independent,
killing hope for the next..
spurious contagion of randomised probabilities,

again and again,
i play the same game,
because i have a dream,
of going beyond survival,
i survive.
a random event in a series of accidents,
i try to find some order inside me,
and you watch,
me floundering in this chaos,
puppeteer of animate puppets,
u are a biased lord,
playing us with your interminable permutations,
but the weak are not meek ever,
and one day i shall rise,
in revolt,
against you,and against this show you run,
another sequence of accidents,
futile,defiant struggle i know i shall lose,
or will i?

i make my choices,
dictated by events,
arbitrarily drifting flotsam on the muddy waters of the conscious,
defining options and unconscious choices made,
an infinite sequence of trials and errors,
determining survival,

and so there is no hope really,
just an illusion,
a momentarily defined pattern in an infinite series,
based on which i make my choice,
a wrong hypothesis accepted as true,
but patterns are not consistent.
error.
and so,survival,not life,
a waste.

P.S.> kesh,u asked me if i do not survive,how do i know what i a waste.well,i DO survive,and so i realise what IS a waste.just trying to define it in mathematical terms above…

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