lets take the psychology on first. when we came to xl, we met a pshrink who had us write stories based on pictures and a long questionnaire and stuff like that. i dont remember most of it except the part where i wrote a looooong story and a poem. and after that i did not hear from her again.
now, recently, after being dumped unceremoniously by my girlfriend, and having pathetically underperformed (or overperformed,considering the efforts i had put in) in my first term, and seeing the second term going downhill too (i got pathetic scores in the first couple of tests, has a verrrrrrry bad marketing sessions and a shit all SIP where i did not get any GD shortlists even because companies would be scared stiff by my profile),i decided i needed help. after all,i was spending more time playing badminton, reading comics and smoking at nights sitting on the terrace parapet thinking about being dumped than spending any time studying. worst of all,i was not even reading novels, and avoiding anything that needed even a semblance of brain usage. so i contact this pshrink again, and ask her for an appointment, mailing her my troubles and stating that lately i have been having troubles sleeping and have become..well..unfocussed, and would she please tell me what was wrong!!as if i did not know already.
well,to cut a long story short,i met her two days ago. she had some interesting observations to make. first of all was that there is nothing wrong with me. good.i am relieved. second was that i had to take it easy.as if i could take it any easier.then she asked me what all books i used to read and what all movies i used to watch. i said anything printed so long as i am not graded on it, and these days, any talkie that does not compel me to use my brains(assuming i have some,in the first place). well,the lady starts then about the stories i had written(i assume she read the poem here too,though i did not ask her specifically).first she says i have a lot of angst and aggression(wow!!so mithun is right when he calls me angry young man!!).then she says that i have a tendency for intrapolation(or some other such ten syllable word, the very sound of which made me feel like a psycho!!) of anger and a high drive for achievement. i asked her what she meant in english.she said that meant that i could not take failure and disappointment easily and that i needed to succeed and that when i failed i used to get angry and that unlike other people who shout at people and break things, my anger was directed inwards like i channelised it and so on and so forth. i mumbled that at least i wasnt antisocial, but she did not find my joke amusing and sternly said that i risked harming myself and so should let it out. i asked her why it was that i spent more time reading comics and playing baddy than anything else, and she again gave me that spiel about me feeling slightly disoriented about things because of the recent breakup.in short, she said everything she could about my not studying, but was pretty nice about it because she did not say that i am not studying and not interested in it because i am just a lazy bum who is too comfortable to move his ass and get some work done.
moving on with things, i have been recently listening to a lot of weird music.that is going by what other people say.i mean i listen to a lot of enigma and pink floyd and scorpions, and if other people find it weird, so be it.one of my friends once said that it is because i listen to so much enigma that i am so down and depressed all the time.that is weird i think. another song that i recently have been listening to a lot is “wasted time” by the eagles.i think its a beautiful song, even though another one of my friends thinks that this is a very sad song and i should not be listening to such songs, especially these days. she means after my breakup,of course. but i think that is stupid too.when does one listen to a sad song after all?when one is in a party?check some lines from the song below..aint it beautiful?

“ooh, another love has come and gone,

Ooh, and the years keep rushing on

I remember what you told me before you went out on your own:

“Sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone.”

So you can get on with your search, baby, and I can

get on with mine

And maybe someday we will find , that it wasn’t really

wasted time ”

right now as is write this audio, my music player is playing tchaikovsky’s sixth a.k.a. the symphony of sadness, but that is a very beautiful piece too. does that make weird?huhh!!

and lastly cartoons.i have been watching a lot of cartoons these days.tom and jerry.ducktales.talespin…anything to keep my mind from thinking.i wonder what the pshrink lady would say were she to come to know of this….”an exogenous manifestation of the repressed desires of extraversion that were supressed during a childhood that was spent interacting more with books that were the preserve of adults than interacting with young adults his own age which manifests itself in this tendency to release those underformed instincts of freedom!!!” with my end terms coming up in two days?i would say BALLLLLSSS!!

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