random

>>one year of PIA will be over in three days
>>single room will be a big relief
>>i am looking forward to my new room.in more ways than one
>>you cant be the best and be an ass..but you can very well be a PIA
>>i am getting majorly pissed off at petty issues
>>i am pissed off at a [...]

sadness

there is an inscrutable,indescribable lethargy that pervades the system,taking hold of mind and body even as i try desperately to cling on to myself.i try to be happy,but this morbid,endemic unhappiness rises like a inhibiting gas from the marshes of my soul and takes me in its inexorable grip.i am only truly happy when i [...]

affairs of the past…

was idly reminscing with naween as went for our usual 2am coffe at the NC..remembering how i used to study for the UGs when the world was young and innocence was not dead(i mean when most of us had just made the transition from boys’ schools to colleges and were learning that girls could be [...]

blue funk

i am not a poet,
just a coward,
weaving webs of words,
deconstructing reality,
and creating illusions,
in which i live,
a lost soul,
trading inanities,
with other lost souls…
i dont have a character,
not anymore,
just desperation,
and a delusion of destiny,
fallacious creations,
imaginary palaces,which i roam,
whiling away my days,
trapped in own mind,
lost in endless frivolities…
i knew love once,
denied me,
swapped by degeneracy,
and endless cowardice,
and treachery of [...]

the prosthetic

sometimes,i think,
i am just half a man,
living my life,staring at it,
dissociated,and inanimate,
watching the scenes of my life,
playing a role in a dark comedy,
simultaneously vulgar and tragic..
an automated,prosthetic man,
unaffected by my griefs,joys,
smiles and tears and ecstacy and pain,
unnaturally quiet,unfeeling..
while the other part in me,
lives,laughs,smiles and shouts,
cries in pain,weeps,loves and loses,
the me in myself,who i dont want [...]

arbitrary thoughts

i have been a bit existential, of late. i dont know why..probably it is the times that be. i have been wondering about life and death..being and not being…i wonder what it will be like when i go.i have never really thought about what will happen when i go.probably i do not much care,either.i do [...]

lines

lines on the hand,
and lines on the forehead,
lines of fate,
crisscrossing, winding and intersecting,
deciding futures and pasts and presents,
representatives of mocking chessplayers,
drawing relationships,
losing and winning,
bringing people together,
from different spaces,
and pulling them apart..
i stare at my palms,
perhaps some lines are not there,
lines good and bad,
and so i take a pen,
and draw them,
lines crisscrossing,
weaving and intertwining,
intersecting,and not going [...]

colours of life

you are not around,
and the world is splashed with colours,
bright green,brilliant pink,and sunshine yellow,
different hues,for different flowers,
and the odour of spring is in the air,
even the drying tree is sprouting new leaves,
and you are not around with me,
to love me,as the world soaks in love,
i,at last, seek out people,
searching,looking for you in other people,
with their [...]

mother

Mother,
I am sad,
Don’t leave me now;

Mother,
I am broken,
Come, hug me tight;

Mother,
Did I tell you,
I am scared of the dark,
And demons torment me,
In my dreams,
And tortured sleep scares me stiff,
Mother, come hold me,
I am terrified.

Mother,
I’ve been a good boy, haven’t I?
Tried my best to make you smile,
Mother, I love you,
Above all things,
And have always done whatever [...]

questions and answers

our CSE prof talked to us about his interviewing experiences for this year’s admissions process. some interesting thoughts emerged, though the first one, of course, carried me back to this time last year when i was sitting for MY interviews..i remember by this time the XL interviews had happened, and the two processes that were [...]