Rings of Smoke

These poems do not live: it's a sad diagnosis.

i want…

Posted on | March 3, 2008 | 4 Comments

i wonder why i have to go to parties,

i wonder why i have to meet people,

i dont want to meet,

stay alone,

live life,in a shell,

cut off from the lights outside,

in my comfortable darkness,

moping,sulking,tired,exhausted,angry..

why can i not let my own fire consume me?

i hate sounds

of other people invading me

trying to force their way

into my consciousness

raping my hopes

torturing my desires

defiling my dreams

i want to grow deaf and blind

preserve my loneliness

stay angry at a world i am indifferent to

hate what i can not

so it will not touch me

i wonder

why do people still reach out to me

when i do not want

i want love to get out of my life

when it cheats me so much

and causes me so much pain

it grows inside me

and leaches my insides like some acid

burning slowly

sizzling through my heart

and leaking into my veins

this venomous love destroys my life

sucking out my happiness

destroying pleasure with momentary treacherous joy

i wish people would not love me

when they have to go away

i want to rid myself of memory

to forget everyone

those i ever loved

and those who ever loved me

father mother friends relatives lovers beloveds

i want to forget every moment spent with them

all the words spoken

and those that were never said

i want to forget them

i want to be indifferent

to love hate pain pleasure empathy joy sorrow

i never want to see them again

i wonder why they intrude in my life

why they care

when i dont

i want…

i want to die.

Similar Posts:

Category: english poetry
Tags:

Comments

4 Responses to “i want…”

  1. messy
    March 4th, 2008 @ 5:40 am

    for the first time i will say… i hated this poem…

  2. m
    March 5th, 2008 @ 9:58 pm

    and to be born nu

  3. Aditi
    March 7th, 2008 @ 12:25 pm

    Do you really wish to forget love?Even pain enriches our soul and makes who we are so that we can be more human.
    What you need is solitude and self-dependence, not lonliness.

  4. sandeip
    March 7th, 2008 @ 12:37 pm

    probably solitude and not loneliness…yes..but it does sometime become difficult to carve out a difference between the two,doesnt it?i have tried both..and i dont know which one prefer…

  • About The Line under the Blog Name

    The lines generally are from some poem which I have, at some point of time or the other, loved. I do not mean, by including them, to be snotty or pretentious- but I would love it if you could identify the lines, and take much joy if you were interested enough to search them and read the original poems. If not- you can ignore them.

  • tags

  • Spam Blocked