dolor

i want to cry, to sob into my pillow silently, to shed tears out of the corners of my eyes, and feel their warmth running down my face, to feel their wash cleansing me, i want to empty myself of you, to forget you,my darling, i am full of you,right now, typing finger by finger,as [...]

the why’s of life

i know why i hate people.they always go away.every single one of them. current song: kabhi kisi ko muqammal jahan

the wind

last night,i left the windows open. and,i think,the wind came in here, when i woke up in the morning, the pages of the old books were scattered, the dust blown off their covers, and the old,forgotten words stand proud, majestic in their desolation… i think the wind came here last night, the windows were open, [...]

just a beat up old man

its barely seven in the morning.i am back from the jog,and waiting for the sweat to dry so i can go take a shower.fiasco.thats the word to describe today’s jog.i jogged yesterday too.some seven plus kms.and that on the second day of this terms jogging season (i started with 5).but that was yesterday evening.this morning…the [...]

chahat

main,aksar,pareshan ho jata hoon, tumhare baare me sochte huye, nirash sa, kabhi ye pyar bhi bojhil lagne lagta hai, jab main ye sochta hoon, ki kya paya tum.ne mujh.se- gham ke siwa, shayad ek adhoori si tanhayee jisme main nahi ho ke bhi hoon, ya ek adhoori si poorn.ta, jahan main ho ke bhi nahi [...]

tautology

what ever who-so-ever may say,i will never agree with the statement that a metric/performance measure can be driver.a performance driver drives a growth in the performance,while a metric measures it.so if a metric could be a driver, or a driver a metric, then a performance measure would drive the performance, and then the same measure [...]

smoking stupidity & the great Ramadoss

so it seems that our dear un-beloved health minister dr. anbumani ramadoss is going to have his way finally, and it appears that the centre is willing to impose a blanket ban on smoking in public places,imposing fines on people who do not abide by the rules. while this most definitely is a welcome news [...]

longing

i have been thinking of the sea,lately; again,wishing myself back on those rocks, alone in that empty desolation, watching the waters crash their heads against imperturbable,unmoving stone, eternal battle of earth and water, the unmovable and the liquid, crashing fluid life striking immortality… i long to feel the fury of the waves again! i have [...]

rebirth (interrupted)

an old me seems to be dying, and the new one seems reluctant, to be born,and live. scared,maybe- of long walks on tortuous roads, of wearing grey cloaks in humid weather, or his own colourlessness in a garish world.   neon signs take a bow on spotlit stages, while the yet to be born me [...]

casablanca

watching casablanca when drunk has almost become a habit now…just as watching apocalypse now,the wall,and a clockwork orange is when i am not drunk. more on it later,am too fuzzy right now.