sick

again. fever. crippling ache in the back. equally crippling cramps all over the thighs and hamstrings. bad pains in my knees and ankles. cannot sit. cannot stand. have a presentation in the evening which i must attend, do not know how…a three hour lecture. mad with my body for refusing to cope up. cannot sleep. [...]

hatred

“Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I’d something more to say”
:Pink Floyd (Time)
you sit on a bridge,head in your hands,
and watch the [...]

irony

me staying with one of my MBBS friends…one would think that with a vet and a MBBS in the same flat…at least most of the common unwellnesses could be taken care of. then this happens,almost just as soon as i arrive…
friend is so overjoyed (mainly,i believe,to have someone with whom he can booze and talk) [...]

wise words

“what is this about forgetting?why do we have to forget?why not just accept that something cannot be,and leave it at that?why do we have to try to forget that thing to be happy?i don’t try to forget.i might not be happy all the time,but at least i can be content knowing that i did what [...]

MS Word

justified thoughts: capitalized
desires; hopes
formatted in lowercase,
spell checked
pleas,aligned
right;unconventional-
bordered with double
lines,pragmatism,
in life.and death,
inserted love,
cross referenced,
and indexed, by months,
hours and minutes and seconds,
cryptic messages,
typed ungrammatically,
highlighted and commented…
italicized proposals,
and underscored rejections,
stroked through
the heart.
in a text box.
Current Song: Back to The Rivers of Belief (Enigma)

nine rupees worth of irritation

sleep is late,again,
and time has slowed down,
creeping on idle waves of inane music,
sometimes rebellious,sometimes pining,
in a disheartened sort of way,
like a lazy,dying fire.
i go to the canteen,
to get some insipid,watery coffee,
and a cigarette,
nine rupees worth of irritation for you,
if you knew,
i have not yet stopped smoking,
another broken promise,
in a slew…
why is sleep slow to come,
even [...]

alone

in umr se lambi sarkon ko, manzil pe pahunch.te dekha nahi,
bas daud.ti fir.ti rehti hai, hum ne to thaharte dekha nahi.
is aznabi se shaher mein, jaana pehchana dhoondh.ta hai,
ek ashiyana dhoondh.ta hai…
(Ek akela is shaher mein :Gharonda)

farewell

after the thousandth ring,
followed by another disappointing beep,
i finally throw the phone away,
knowing that this is not going to work,
that we have gone too far down our own ways,
that…love is not the most important thing we have.
and so,even though you will not listen to me,
i announce today,my independence,
i free myself,and you,
from the bonds of the [...]

distance

there is a chill in the air,
these days,
autumn has arrived.
and silence travels far,
in the winter,
even as the leaves dry and fall.
restless days and sleepless nights,
enclose me,
and remind of our mutual lies.
and looking at the still silent phone,
i tell myself,
you must be very busy.

early morning thoughts

another morning of another sleepless night.today,dadu did not even have coffee ready by now.sometimes i think why the hell do i go to that shop?i guess them being close is the only reason.and of course,the fact that the cafeteria guys serve a dirty brown looking watery insipid brew they call coffee,helps.
i am tired of trying [...]