yo ho ho and a bottle of rum-I

Posted on | October 13, 2008 | Comments Off

##warning : some of the words used in this post are best not used in presence of more polite company, ladies, friends, and sometimes your boss. decide whether to read on the basis of your sensibilities.

Well, a bottle of vodka normally. But who cares, so long as it has alcohol and tastes good. Besides, it was travelling 150 kms over bad roads in cramped conditions on the last seat of a cranky trashcan that went by the name of a bus last night to share a bottle of rum with a friend which inspires this post.
Everyone drinks. What? NOT everyone, you say? Yeah. More is the pity, aint it. I offer my condolences to those who don’t. :P But I cannot resist paying homage to the oldest source of joy and introspection known to man. And, as we were discussing last night over the rum, I cannot resist offering a salute to the guys in the North East who kept excise duties so low as to give the chance to get a five year long binge, which is what I had during my undergraduate days. In fact the most prominent memory of these days is mostly having no memories, huge gaping holes when we would be passed out, blissfully drunk. But booze did help us discover ourselves. Did I not mention introspection somewhere? We used to have some pretty intense conversations over booze. Helping us to forget heartbreaks, shitty food of the mess that even the dogs would not eat, Ravana like professors who treated us like some extra dirty pieces of shits (or, in their more generous moments, delinquent morons of the more disgusting sort who had no business being there at all), bad exams…it was the solace for everything. It gave us memorable moments of camaraderie…like this one:
During Fourth, after a particularly shitty paper, at night, I am sitting in my room with a bottle of vodka, trying to forget everything, including the stuff I had forgotten during the exam. A walks in. very agitated. Comes, sits on the bed. I raise an eyebrow solicitously…meaning ask for anything except booze.
A: dude… (Chokes on his words like a monkey who has swallowed an apple whole. I take that to mean that he is overwhelmed by the flow of his emotions. Raise an encouraging eyebrow. I am good at that. Raising eyebrows, I mean, not encouraging people.)
A: dude…..man…fuck!!!
(I am still in the dark. I mean, though explicit and useful in conveying the strength of emotions, fuck is hardly enlightening towards the subject at hand. Another raise of the eyebrow, this time slightly impatient.)
A: dude…shit, man!!fuck, saala!! That fucking bastard P! What a fucking paper man! I had such a fucking bad day! Fuck! What a paper! I fucking did not know what he fucking meant by any of the fucking questions! Fucking sadist! He fucking wants to fucking fail us! Fucking…(a bit more of the monkey with the apple act here)…fucking!! Fuck man! I am gonna fail this fucking paper, man!! Fuck!!
(note 1: P being the prof who set the paper, a much hated guy from that paper on, tho previously much loved because of his habit of never taking attendance and not giving any projects or HW. Note 2: when A gets agitated, he swears a lot. And he is very loyal to his vocabulary, as I guess is evident. Anyways, I did not seem to have an answer to such an eloquent outburst of anger and frustration over the prof, after all, he really did not have any business setting such a tough paper…wasn’t he the guy whose paper was supposed to be a cinch. Anyways, for want of doing something, I take out another glass, and much to the disappointment of A, pour a glass of water and pass it to him while he hungrily, rather…thirstily, eyes the bottle of vodka sitting there on the table)
A: (sarcastically) Thank you. I knew I could count on you for support!
(Now, this was rather unfair of him and rather harsh on me, don’t you think? After all, I had never told him to count on my support. Besides, whatever little support i may offer, i firmly draw the line when it comes to sharing scarce booze. Anyways, this clearly meant that I was expected to make some sort of comment, at least commiserate with him. I thought for a while.)
Me: (with my best straight and innocent face) Man, you know what!! In that one breath there, you had more ‘fuck’s than what, by my reckoning, you are going to get in your lifetime!
A: (for once shocked out of words) What… the fuck!
I took the glass out of his momentarily limp hand and poured him a vodka as we both burst out laughing.
Almost four years later, we still remember that moment. Cheers to booze….
(To be Continued…)

Current Music: Naughty Naughty (Cash)

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