farewell

Posted on | October 20, 2008 | Comments Off

after the thousandth ring,
followed by another disappointing beep,
i finally throw the phone away,
knowing that this is not going to work,
that we have gone too far down our own ways,
that…love is not the most important thing we have.

and so,even though you will not listen to me,
i announce today,my independence,
i free myself,and you,
from the bonds of the shared something that once was,
its spectre shall not loom between us again,
we can concentrate on our separate priorities now…

i have some things of yours,
which i return today,
one ticket of the movie we watched together,
(the other i keep),
the handkerchief you forgot in my room,
(its small chiffon square still breathing your perfume),
the broken heel of your sandal,
(remember that day?i wonder how you got it repaired,
or maybe,you just threw it away)
some papers on which you drew graffiti,
using my red ink pen-
pitiful odds and ends,
priceless reminders of something-
scraps,the only tangible reminders i have-of you,
and a few photographs,
which,of course,i will not keep any,
they are yours’,to keep or throw or burn…

i am keeping some things though,
(i hope you don’t mind),
small reminders,of something best forgotten,
but too precious to-
a bit of your laughter,still ringing in my ear,
the fragrance of your hair,
and the odd tear or two-
a glimpse of your face,
wild laughter half hidden by flying hair
(remember the Ferris wheel?i was so scared,
and you so excited!)
i am keeping those,
not to remember you by,no-
because they are mine,memories,
to stay with me as i please…

i will wrap them in scarlet silk,
and keep them in a gilded box,
hidden in my attic,
safe from the prying eyes of the world,
and i will forget them.not forever,not always.
sometimes,i will open the box,
after midnight,will look at them in a wavering candlelight,
in the silence i will hear your laughter again,
watch your flushed face shine with joy,
and maybe add a tear or two of my own,
write a poem-
or maybe,i will just take them to bed with me,
and die.

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