Rings of Smoke

Where shall the word be found, where will the word | Resound? Not here, there is not enough silence

breaking bonds…

Posted on | November 14, 2008 | Comments Off

last two days have been full of turmoil.i have missed three classes,but two of them were ethics lectures,which means i have missed far too many of them.i have been sleeping like drugged,and the body has constantly been refusing to work like i command it to.meanwhile,absurdities are unfolding all around me,with a large cross-section of people unveiling the idiots they have hidden inside and insisting on giving them centre-stage.some of them have been doing so anonymously.oh well…

meanwhile,SKJ became a father the day-before.so,i am uncle now.he called me y’day with the news,and even in his desperate happiness,i sensed an attempt of placation,as he was trying to reconcile the differences between bhabhi and me.cannot be done,at least not now.SKJ has a special place always,and will always have,but some hurts go too deep to be bridged.i do not think i shall be calling bhabhi with my congratulations any time soon.

i somehow sense that this phase is a very important one in my life.not just professionally.some months back,AG told me that the root cause of most problems i face is a lack of assertiveness…that i am too laid back and reserved.i told her that i knew she was right,and she asked me that if i knew,why did not i do something about it?i guess the time has come.to wrest back control of life,and to finally make some decisions about my own life and the way i want to live it.to break some bonds.

in cold blood,and perhaps with a cold heart,i have decided to snap away clean from the past,and all that it means to me.i have to have a fresh start,and that has to be the starting point.i have to wipe the slate clean,not by dint of justice,that is not possible to.but it will give me,and many others relief from misery if we laid the past to rest.its not about forgetting.its just about refusing to ponder it.i am breaking all bonds with the past.people.lives,habits.everything.maybe not a good thing to do.but definitely the right thing to do.

good bye.

current song: where the streets have no name

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