full moon fever

Posted on | November 21, 2008 | Comments Off

there is this effete loneliness,
which grows around me,
insipid.yet intractable.
swirling around my feet, wafting up my waist,
and curling above,to my eyes…
no wind clears this mist,
a white unconsciousness,
which revolves around my feet,
like a homemade snowstorm…

i look at meaningless pictures,
each worth less than a word,
images as senseless as the endless cigarettes i smoke,
as violent as sugarless black coffee,
in my grey desolation,
i watch the silence explode in a melange of colours,
silent noise,a violent movie played on mute,
a snowstorm…outside the glass window…

i am going mad,aint i?
writing senseless words in the before morning dark,
blinded by own flashing loneliness,
accentuated by all the laughs i laughed this evening,
enough for a month,for a lifetime,
makebelieve happiness,
till that girl recognised it for what it was,
fake caught in spotlights,
stark,harsh reality,
after which time slows down,
just a bit,
like the languorous dripping of thick coffee,
which is strong enough to keep me awake all night,and the rest of my life…
real sadness and mock laughter,both mine;
and incomplete poems,
lingering,swirling,mocking,
brilliant,eyehurting,shining white blizzards of failure…

Current Music: some ennio morricone soundtrack (i think the good,the bad and the ugly)

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