Rings of Smoke

Where shall the word be found, where will the word | Resound? Not here, there is not enough silence

leaving XL

Posted on | March 1, 2010 | 4 Comments

I graduated from XL in the middle of a recession. Didn’t get a job in FMCG, got a job that didn’t pay me a million rupees a year, did not get a cushy trainee stint with end of the year bonuses just for completing the stint to start with, and worst of all, didn’t get the Sales profile I so coveted. Instead, I got stuck in a pharma product management role- and product management in pharma is…well, suffice to say you wouldn’t soon see Sachin Tendulkar on TV promoting one of the brands I manage.  And that I never realized India was such a HUGE country before I joined my job.

Still, thoroughly disgruntled, I stayed on for the convocation ceremony, got myself thoroughly plastered in the post-convo party- in a bad way, spent the rest of night running through whatever remaining conversation there was with some of the people I had spent the two years at XL, and ran through another bottle of whiskey. And next day, puking and panting, I left for Bombay to join my new job which I was very doubtful about.

It’s been nearly one year. The new job is now old enough, and though it still doesn’t pay me a million rupees a year, it is something I turned out to like from Day-1, it’s taught me things, has earned me the respect of my colleagues and reportees; and a footing from where I can not talk to people and confidently say that its not all just gyan that I accumulated in two years of XL and one year of work. And, even though I was very unhappy when I left the campus, I was not sure I wanted to be back there anymore, I have been back there many times, probably more times in the past one year than any of my other friends (I stopped counting after four times in four months).

I did not go back to XL initially for XL. I went there because my job took me in those parts frequently, and my best friend was placed in Jamshedpur and I would spend my weekends with him. And I would visit campus sometimes- just go, have a coffee and smoke at Dadu’s, make a couple rounds of the JLT (never spend time sitting there, idling- didn’t do that after first term), roam a bit around the Learning Center and come back (the first visits happened in April and May, when there was no one on campus).

I kept going back to Jamshedpur as and when time permitted, and most times I would also visit XL, sometimes to meet some guys from my junior batch whom I knew- sometimes just for a coffee at dadu’s and back. Neither here nor there kind of visits. But I did go. And the past three months I have not been there. Work, other travelling, other commitments in life have all conspired to prevent any visits to Jamshedpur. And my best friend is no longer there. And the junior batch is also going now, so next I go, there will be no one I know in that town, except the profs. No more all night booze sessions, no more roof-top parties, no more evening jogs- one year after leaving XL, I know now with a finality that there will be no going back in the way the two years were spent there. No more wet-nites neither. So many of those parties spent serving and imbibing drinks- and it all boils down to this- I still hate the racket made in wetnites- but could I have just one more please?

Ohh, and I found my OMAXI tee today. It was lost somewhere in the jumble of stuff when I shifted homes, but it is back, and it shall be worn again with pride, whenever I get time to roam around. Because even though I hated being parts of groups, it was kinda cool. Even though I hated noisy parties in large groups, those were kinda nice. And I am sure those who are going to be checking out of XL now would also be thinking the same- could I have one more please?

I will be going back to XL again, this month or the next month- some plans are being made. This time there will be no familiar faces among the students, but they will still be XLers, there will be Dadu’s where I will sit and sip my coffee (without the chocolate powder, please), maybe even have an egg maggi, and get the gossip about things.

And I will do it again, and again and again. Because now I realize that I was not right to be disgruntled. Nay, I was not really disgruntled. For most of us, XL now is like a love- we can have fights, we can argue, we can stop talking for a few days. But we do not stop loving each other, because we are each made of each other. XL has bits of me in her (her…as one of the current batch aptly says), and I will always have bits of XL in me, where ever I go- because I will always be an XLer. Things earned there will never change. Twenty years down the line, I will sit down for drinks with those guys- we will still go “PIYO BC!” and Ek-Do-Teen-Chaar will always be shouted, even by the most genteel of us…and I will always want one more day there…one more wetnite, one more cup of coffee at Dadu’s, one more terrace party, one more breakfast at the Regent (it will NEVER be the Sonnet for me)…ohh, and would FLIX please screen Gunda again?

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Comments

4 Responses to “leaving XL”

  1. Ramaa Ramesh
    March 1st, 2010 @ 10:50 pm

    I like :)
    A rare perspective on XL… in that it is balanced. :)

  2. Ninja
    March 2nd, 2010 @ 1:57 pm

    I like (too)!
    And I want to visit when you do. Xlers will be there, but nothing like your own batch to have as company.

  3. Akshay
    March 3rd, 2010 @ 12:12 pm

    Is this Sandeep? A really nice read to start the day. Very sublime piece of writing. Just well done. Kinda like how Bishuda’d always ensure my eggs were done :)

  4. Sandeep
    March 3rd, 2010 @ 8:29 pm

    @ramaa

    thanks

    @ninja

    sometime next week, i hope :D

    @akshay

    is that raju? thanks!

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