silence

look at the moon now,
it is strange,
crumpled,like an ugly,yellowish lump of paper
someone took it out of the dustbin,
and stuck it up there,to mock us.
the stars seem to be a cosmic parody,
of the earthly lights,burning all around me,
glittery,loud,brittle,mocking the moon we shared.
oh,and the oceans have gone silent,
truculent,and moody like cantankerous old men,
they either go quiet for [...]

rebuff

there is this small matter,
of wounds and pain,
between you and me,
an ancient enmity…
a small,temporary issue,
i keep telling myself,
every time when i resolve,
not to speak to you again…
an issue of life and death,
and the limbo in between,
everynight,when i go to bed in the cold,
huddled like a small child,
wanting to wrap you around me…
an ancient enmity,
where we [...]

nine rupees worth of irritation

sleep is late,again,
and time has slowed down,
creeping on idle waves of inane music,
sometimes rebellious,sometimes pining,
in a disheartened sort of way,
like a lazy,dying fire.
i go to the canteen,
to get some insipid,watery coffee,
and a cigarette,
nine rupees worth of irritation for you,
if you knew,
i have not yet stopped smoking,
another broken promise,
in a slew…
why is sleep slow to come,
even [...]

distance

there is a chill in the air,
these days,
autumn has arrived.
and silence travels far,
in the winter,
even as the leaves dry and fall.
restless days and sleepless nights,
enclose me,
and remind of our mutual lies.
and looking at the still silent phone,
i tell myself,
you must be very busy.

early morning thoughts

another morning of another sleepless night.today,dadu did not even have coffee ready by now.sometimes i think why the hell do i go to that shop?i guess them being close is the only reason.and of course,the fact that the cafeteria guys serve a dirty brown looking watery insipid brew they call coffee,helps.
i am tired of trying [...]

of chocolate cake,coffee and cigarettes

another sleepless,futile night
i did not start studying even today
started the day…no,that is all wrong…the day did not start actually,because the previous one never ended,right?anyways…went to dadu’s for a slice of chocolate cake followed by coffee and cigarettes.notice all the c’s?
by trying to cut down on cigarettes, i have been smoking more and more of them
i [...]

more jog

ended a very long lethargy today.after another night with only half an hour of fitful sleep, decided finally to do some work, and before i realized, it was 5 40AM.fever was there,but cold had given me a slight respite,and on an impulse,went to jog.4kms in 22mins 10 secs.the XL DreamRun proposed track.i guess i will [...]

night

couldn’t sleep even tonight,even though i have been nursing a bad cold and been feverish.spent the night downloading papers for my dissert,i think i am going to have to scrap half the stuff i earlier read.sad situation.first i dont work.then half the work goes down the drain enhances my knowledge but has no use for [...]

life

dumb,burning eyelids,
droop over sleepless eyes,
and tired brain
projects beautiful colours,
shutting out music
world
is one
polychrome symbiont,
sipping on blood,
where does it get its colours from?
night is bleak
and pretty
stars,blurred suns
blazing light on exhausted body
hallucinations
and memories of sleep
and an interminable fever.
being tired is beautiful.

coward

headaches, and a
sleepy insomnia,bring
a screen of red,in front of
the eyes,tired eyelids
droop but cannot
sleep.stiitng in classrooms,
business discussions with
thoughts of perdition-
i think of cheap hotels and
dirty,muddy coffee,and
spectral shapes of
cigarette smoke in dark rooms;
shouting neon signs,
too loud in the
scared night;and subdued
junkies.the high of
grass in a dirty bed
with semen stained sheets
and floating in streets with
pleasure sellers-
soul merchandise,i think of
loneliness,despair-
and [...]