night

couldn’t sleep even tonight,even though i have been nursing a bad cold and been feverish.spent the night downloading papers for my dissert,i think i am going to have to scrap half the stuff i earlier read.sad situation.first i dont work.then half the work goes down the drain enhances my knowledge but has no use for [...]

moment

the windows are closed, and the curtains pulled, and opacity is back in life. no wind rustles these curtains, nothing disturbs the old books, grimy,dusty pages are not opened, and an ersatz,uneasy peace reigns. the nights are empty, and a silent noise fills up the space, pretentious music hangs in the air, and the orderly [...]

living life

lately i have been living life in slices-anything between 20-36 hours of consciousness followed by anywhere between 8-13 hours of sleep.i use the word consciousness deliberately here,trying to indicate the futility of even those waking hours,where nothing happens,where the time is not passed,not used for doing something productive.these hours are spent merely in the wait [...]

it happens…

say what!!!

life

dumb,burning eyelids, droop over sleepless eyes, and tired brain projects beautiful colours, shutting out music world is one polychrome symbiont, sipping on blood, where does it get its colours from? night is bleak and pretty stars,blurred suns blazing light on exhausted body hallucinations and memories of sleep and an interminable fever. being tired is beautiful.

my room

some things have changed in this room,the clock is placed at a different angle,some photographs are absent from the desk,the computer is switched off more often,no books litter the table,and hangars are littered with dirty clothes. the dustbin is a bit more full of empty cigarette packets,newspapers lie scattered about,unread,and somewhere a woman is there,present [...]

dolor

i want to cry, to sob into my pillow silently, to shed tears out of the corners of my eyes, and feel their warmth running down my face, to feel their wash cleansing me, i want to empty myself of you, to forget you,my darling, i am full of you,right now, typing finger by finger,as [...]

the why’s of life

i know why i hate people.they always go away.every single one of them. current song: kabhi kisi ko muqammal jahan

the wind

last night,i left the windows open. and,i think,the wind came in here, when i woke up in the morning, the pages of the old books were scattered, the dust blown off their covers, and the old,forgotten words stand proud, majestic in their desolation… i think the wind came here last night, the windows were open, [...]

chahat

main,aksar,pareshan ho jata hoon, tumhare baare me sochte huye, nirash sa, kabhi ye pyar bhi bojhil lagne lagta hai, jab main ye sochta hoon, ki kya paya tum.ne mujh.se- gham ke siwa, shayad ek adhoori si tanhayee jisme main nahi ho ke bhi hoon, ya ek adhoori si poorn.ta, jahan main ho ke bhi nahi [...]